Learning to reach each other again.
Couples therapy with a licensed marriage and family therapist, in person in New York City and online throughout New York and Florida. Sessions in English, Spanish, or both.
The cycle is the problem, not either of you
Almost every couple who comes in can describe their fight in detail and still cannot stop it. That is because the fight is not really about the dishes, the text message, or the in-laws. It is a loop: you move, your partner counter-moves, and both of you end up protecting something tender.
The first job is to see the loop clearly and out loud, without blame. The second is to learn how to step out of it while you are inside it, which is the hard part and the part that changes your life at home.
Signs it may be time
- You are having the same argument in different outfits.
- One of you raises it, the other shuts down, and nothing lands.
- There has been an affair, a lie, or a breach of trust you cannot get past alone.
- You are more like efficient roommates than partners.
- Sex has become a negotiation, or a silence.
- A baby, a move, a diagnosis, or a job has knocked you out of step.
- One of you is thinking about leaving and has not said it out loud.
- You are about to get married and want to do this well on purpose.
You do not need a crisis to qualify. Couples wait an average of six years before seeking help, and earlier is markedly easier.
What couples bring here
Communication and conflict
Pursue-and-withdraw, stonewalling, contempt, the fights that escalate in under a minute. We slow it down and rebuild how you speak when it matters.
Trust and infidelity
Structured repair after an affair or a betrayal: full disclosure handled carefully, the meaning of what happened, and whether and how to rebuild.
Intimacy and desire
Mismatched desire, avoidance, resentment that has migrated into the bedroom, and reconnecting physically without pressure or performance.
Premarital and newly engaged
Money, in-laws, children, religion, careers, and expectations nobody said out loud. Structured conversations before the patterns harden.
Transitions and parenthood
New baby, fertility struggles, relocation, illness, career upheaval, empty nest. The relationship needs renegotiating, not just endurance.
Family patterns and culture
Intergenerational trauma, immigrant family expectations, bicultural households, and the scripts you each brought from home.
What this actually looks like
Assessment
The first one to three sessions. Your history, your cycle, and what each of you wants. Sometimes an individual session each.
De-escalation
Turning down the heat. You learn to spot the loop as it starts and to stop feeding it, so the house gets quieter first.
The real conversation
Underneath the anger there is usually fear or grief. This is where couples say the thing they have never managed to say.
Making it stick
New patterns practiced until they hold under stress, plus repair skills for when you slip, because you will.
Couples therapy, answered
What happens in the first couples session?
The first session is about the story: what brought you in, what you have already tried, and how each of you sees the problem. Annalis will ask questions of you both, and she will name what she sees happening between you. Some couples also do a short individual conversation each, so she can hear each side fully. You leave with a working picture of your cycle and a plan.
Will she take sides?
No. A marriage and family therapist is trained to treat the relationship rather than referee it. If it ever feels one-sided, say so in session. That is useful information, not a complaint she will take badly.
How often do we meet, and for how long?
Weekly at the start, in 55-minute sessions. Many couples notice a shift within six to eight sessions and stay several months to make it durable. Some move to every other week as things steady. You decide together, out loud, as you go.
What if my partner will not come?
You can start on your own. Relationships are systems: when one person changes how they respond, the pattern shifts. Many partners join later once they see it is not an ambush.
Is couples therapy covered by insurance?
Sometimes, and usually not directly. Insurance requires a mental health diagnosis for an individual, so couples work is often billed as family psychotherapy when one partner has a diagnosis and the work is part of their treatment. Many couples choose private pay for this reason. The fees and insurance page explains the options in plain language, including superbills.
Do you work with unmarried, queer, polyamorous, or non-traditional couples?
Yes. Couples therapy here is for any two people building a shared life: dating, engaged, married, partnered, LGBTQ+, long distance, blended families, or reconsidering the shape of the relationship entirely.
Can we do this online?
Yes, anywhere in New York or Florida. Online works especially well for couples with mismatched schedules, small children at home, or a long commute. Both partners can join from the same room or from two different ones.
What if we decide to separate?
Then the work becomes doing that with as much care and as little damage as possible, particularly if you are co-parenting. A good ending is a legitimate outcome of couples therapy, and not a failure of it.
Ready when you are.
Start with a free 15-minute call. No pressure and no paperwork. It’s just a chance to see if we’re a good fit.
In person in New York City · Online across New York & Florida · English y español